If i come over, it means nothing
She is in my trunk
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
