we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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