1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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