you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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