we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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