Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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