we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
