I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
be right there i have to get my cape
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
