12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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