If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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