i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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