chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
