just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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