I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
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