My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
