Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
