none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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