bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
