Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
