I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
