You're earring is so big in my mouth
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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