i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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