i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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