the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
