Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
