we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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