There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
