You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
My bed smells like the plague
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
