totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
