You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
my poor anus
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
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