Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
