He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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