my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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