Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Randomize
