I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
only if we run a train.
done.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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