I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
