Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I need to align my fucking chakras
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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