O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
