Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
