All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
