Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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