turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
