she looked like the bat from fern gully.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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