There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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