Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize