Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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