Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
