I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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