It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
