Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
