The maid of honor just puked.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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