So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
