Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
this just has baby written all over it
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
