Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Randomize
