dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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