When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize