there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
