but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
