we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
