Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
