STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
