dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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