I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
