so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
