I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
